Feelings From The Unwanted Child

Change

‎’the thing about a change it can be so constant that you don’t know the difference until there one . It can be so slow that you don’t know that your life better or worse until there is one or it can just blow you away make you something different in a instance’ - Life As a House 

When I meet her I was this anger kid with no care in the world and not giving a shit about no one not even myself. I didn’t realize that my life had got better because she was in my life. It didn’t happen right away it took a while. My life did get better because of her. I do not know if she knows this but it did.
She was a change in my life that I didn’t realize until she was gone. She made a impact on my life that will stay with me forever. She was that one person who never gave up on me no matter what I did to try to push her away. She changed me more than I can explain. I am in debt to her for life because of this. 
She had this effect on me that changed my whole entire respective on life. The way I saw things and people that were around me. Not until now in this moment did I realize that I would now be here without of her. I saw my life going down a different path because of her I saw a future that made me want to be here which was a huge change.

Writing this now brings this pain in my heart, its like a punch in the gut knowing that I lost this person that cared for me more than I know, took care of me, fought for me, and would have been there for me no matter what.
Hopefully she knows who she is.

It took me six years to realize that and that I had this person and now she is gone.

Apr 24, 2012 10:56pm Moment of realization